The console versions of the game also lose something extra in the translation, as an unstable frame rate that only seems to get worse when you're firing heavy weaponry makes everything that much harder to follow. Enemies don't really burst apart in a satisfying way, and the bulk of the weaponry feels underwhelming. Instead, they make you wonder if the main parts of Duke would have been better if people weren't wasting their time making sure that the pool tables almost work. We're past the point of getting thrills from basic interactivity like "hey, you can flush the toilets" or "oh, you can sort of play this awful pinball machine." If the core shooting in the game was exciting, these lame little extras would be forgivable. Blasting pigs up close and watching them crumble after one shot is kind of satisfying, even after all these years.īut that's probably the only true satisfaction to be found in Duke Nukem Forever. Duke 3D had one of my all-time favorite shotguns (which is a pretty short list), and the gun returns in Duke Nukem Forever feeling mostly intact. The arsenal covers most of what you'd expect from a Duke Nukem game, including a shrink ray and a freeze beam that lets you toy around with enemies a little bit. The game's bosses can only be damaged by turrets or RPGs, so whenever you get into one of these situations, the game makes sure that you have the appropriate weaponry nearby. This doesn't quite lead to the tactical considerations that a limited inventory might initially imply, though, as the only time you really need a specific weapon is when you're in a boss fight. Duke can hold two weapons at a time and has a recharging, Halo-like shield meter, though it's called "Ego" here. In the context of Duke Nukem Forever, a lot of these sequences feel like filler, meant to distract you from the game's lackluster action.
Most of this stuff-the platforming and awkward underwater controls, specifically-has been bred out of modern shooters for a reason. Its longer-than-average campaign attempts to deliver on variety by mixing in a few vehicle sequences, an underwater section, and multiple levels where you're shrunk down to tiny size and forced to carefully jump from one platform to another, but these only help make the game feel old. If you're not a history buff and you're just looking for a good time, look somewhere else.įor a game that's supposed to be so over-the-top and bombastic, Duke Nukem Forever sure is boring. But also know that this final product is kind of a terrible shooter with a bunch of really mindless attempts at referential humor, both of which do a great disservice to the Duke Nukem 3D legacy.
Duke Nukem Forever is practically a historical document, and my advice to you is that if you're the sort of person who followed 3D Realms all the way down and you're feeling like you need to know how this crazy tale ends, you should play Duke Nukem Forever and see what it's finally become. So, in some weird way, the notion that Duke Nukem Forever is a final, shipping product is all the victory it needs. It was long-dead, relegated to the isle of canceled games alongside StarCraft: Ghost and Thrill Kill. I certainly never expected that I'd write a review of Duke Nukem Forever.
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